more stars than in the heavens

not in our stars, but in ourselves

A mannes, a plannes, a Cannes…


It’s here!  It’s here!  The Cannes Film Festival is here!  This means that I’ve spent most of the day looking at new pictures of the jury as they stand around awkwardly while paparazzi photographers yell “MEESTAIR SPIELBAIRG!  NICOLE!  NICOLE!  OVAIR EER PLEEZ!” (as seen here).

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll be able to guess at my favorite juror.  No surprise, he is absolutely the best dressed man in town.  Better dressed than some of the ladies, too.  As my friend Karen says: “Perfect trouser break.  Perfect trouser fit.  Look at the other fellas’ pants.  Then look at Mr. Waltz’s.” Mmm hmm.  Christoph Waltz is the European version of the Old Spice guy – “hello, ladies. look at your man. now back to me. now back at your man. now back to me. sadly, he isn’t me,” etc. – and he just looks flawless.  Maybe he has an unfair advantage, since his wife is a costume designer, but still.  Those other men on the jury are all rich as Croesus.  They could have afforded a tailor.


Anyway, the point of Cannes is not my unhealthy obsession with a fiftysomething Austrian.  The point is the press hoopla – I mean, the films.  And I do believe that they’re all settling in now to watch the opener, The Great Gatsby.  You all know how unexcited I am about this one, and I feel bad for Waltz especially: since Nicole Kidman is a fellow juror, and since Leonardo Di Caprio was a co-star, he’ll probably have to try to find something nice to say about that piece of nonsense so as not to insult either of the two-time Baz Luhrmann collaborators.  Poor kid.

deniro face

All the same, I look forward to lots more pictures of Christoph outshining everyone else, and I guess I look forward to hearing about the films as well.


2 comments on “A mannes, a plannes, a Cannes…

  1. Karen
    May 17, 2013

    Viva La Cannes! (I am sure that is totally incorrect–sorry French speakers!) He really does look great. And I’m obsessed with his pants. (Now, now, I really am just talking fashion here. I think.) But yeah…what was I saying? He looks like he’s having a really good time. I sort of can’t believe this goes on for two whole weeks. Part of me thinks it sounds heavenly, but also…two weeks?! I’m sure there are lots of parties and other very important things going on. But, like, what if Kidman or Spielberg are really big jerks, and you have to spend two weeks jurying with them? Ugh.

    I would very much like to be a fly on a wall during the Gatsby discussions. Or ANY of the discussions. Or a fly on Mr. Waltz’s pillow, watching him sleep. Yep.

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This entry was posted on May 15, 2013 by and tagged , , , .
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