not in our stars, but in ourselves
And the Academy can officially eat my ass.
No nomination for David Oyelowo or Ava DuVernay. I’m sorry? What was that, Academy voters? You’re collectively incompetent and you should all be set adrift on an ice floe? Well, the bad news is that global warming is melting those too fast for all of you to go floating off, but I’m sure we can think of some other contrapasso for your abject failures in film evaluation.
I don’t mean to insinuate that Steve Carrell and Michael Keaton weren’t very good and deserving of praise. The latter, I can attest to; the former, I feel safe in assuming (and will eventually find out for myself). Smaug seems like a very nice person. I’m sure he’s adequate in White Male British Genius Movie #1. Marius Pontmercy seems to embody one of my favorite Malcolm Tucker insults (“you know how 90% of dust is dead human skin? well, that’s what you are to me”), but again, I’m sure he’s just fine in White Male British Genius Movie #2. Why the hell didn’t those two cancel each other out? Oh, right, because the Academy is stuffed to the gills with white males. As for Bradley Cooper….well. Was this the movie he “bulked up” for? That’s always catnip for Academy voters. Maybe he’s really good in a really silly looking movie. These things happen sometimes.
As for the directors: I can’t really argue with most of them, though I question whether The Imitation Game is a film whose direction anyone will remember in a year or two (correct me if I’m wrong; I haven’t seen it, not curious to see it, bad film fan, bad bad bad). I think DuVernay deserved a nomination. I really, really, REALLY do.
Ava and David, if you want to come hang out with me, I will give you each an Oscar. It will be entirely merit-based. It will have nothing to do with PR agents, ads in the Hollywood Reporter, or the opinions of a bunch of crusty old white dudes. It will be because you both deserve to be rewarded for your extraordinary achievements, even if the industry is too ignorant (or worse) to know it.