more stars than in the heavens

not in our stars, but in ourselves

Finally, some answers.

My friend Ben took pity on my cry for help/attention, and has asked me the following questions.  Please know, dear readers, that you shouldn’t feel shy about asking your own.  Leave them as comments on this post, or on the last post, or wherever.  I’m always willing to respond to your burning curiosity.

Without further ado – the questions you’ve ALL been dying to know the answers to:

why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

I don’t know for sure, but I suspect it has something to do with the fact that carrots are very high in beta carotene (vitamin A), which gives them a deep, orange color.  Sweet potatoes are also high in beta carotene, and they’re similarly hued; ditto pumpkins, mangoes, papayas, etc.  Oranges, on the other hand, are much richer in vitamin C – not to mention much more watery.  If any scientists out there want to elaborate further, please do – but I suspect that’s the reason.

what’s in your ideal manhattan – sweet vermouth, dry vermouth, or 50/50? rye or bourbon?

Y’know, I don’t think I’ve gotten too much into Manhattans.  Indeed, I’m a bit of a dilettante where my cocktails are concerned: I just know that I like ’em, without really knowing why.  However, if I’m at a slightly less trustworthy bar (meaning I don’t trust them to make their drinks without dumping tubs of simple syrup into them), I usually just get something on the rocks: Laphroig if they have it, or something more standard-issue (Jack Daniels, whatever, I’m just there to get drunk anyway) if they don’t.  And of course, there’s the go-to for East Coast college girls: a vodka-soda with lime.

P&R0305

Ron Swanson would be disappointed.

what film celebrity (actor, director, writer, etc) would be just as successful in 2015 as 1965? how about the other way around?

This all depends on how pessimistic you are about the definition of success, I guess.  If we’re talking about someone who would be just as artistically successful now as they were then (i.e., the noble definition of success), I guess I’d say Scarlett Johanssen would have done equally well in 1965 as she’s doing in 2015, because she could have done well making the transition from studio fare to “New Hollywood” kinds of things, and because she has the mid-century look down pat; and I think Sammy Davis, Jr., would have done even better in 2015 than he did in 1965 – and in fact, I’m getting a little upset thinking about how much.  However, if we’re talking about the less noble definition of success – pure popularity, appealing to the masses, that kind of thing – then the field opens up quite a bit more broadly.  Let’s see: I’m sure Aaron Sorkin could have been just as big a sanctimonious prick in 1965 as he is now; and I feel certain that, had Elvis been a soulful heartthrob in 2015, he could have made just as many high-grossing, formulaic movies about little more than his pelvis (or whatever) now as he did then.

ann-margret-bathing-suit
lol reddit?

The only subreddit I followed with any particular attention was /r/nosleep.  For a few months, I got heavily involved in reading all kinds of creepypastas, because I guess I hate myself and want to deprive myself of restful nights’ sleep.  Sometimes I’ll glance at a celebrity AMA session, but not often.  To be honest, I find Reddit useful and interesting sometimes, but it is basically pure comments.  As such, there is some startling dreck lurking within.  I can only handle that much misspelled longing for sexual violence against women before I feel the need to go Boudicca on everyone’s asses – but in real life, not just in the comments.

boudicca-121
how sad is it that lynch left twin peaks?

It’s mystifying, is what it is!  It seems to have shocked Showtime, so maybe he was just gunning for more money or something, and he figured a publicity stunt was the best way to get it.  I don’t know.  I hope he comes back, because the episodes without his directorial imprimatur were a CHORE to get through.  Maybe if he doesn’t come back, but James and Bobby and Nadine also don’t come back, it will be okay.  Maybe.  Still, this pretty much sums it up:

why are you so good at the internet?

Because for long stretches of my life, I have had no one and nothing else with which to fill my (ample) free time.  The internet has always been there, calling to me with its siren song, telling me that however bored and lonely I am, there’s always something else happening somewhere.

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2 comments on “Finally, some answers.

  1. Benjamin M. Goodman
    April 15, 2015

    pity had nothing to do with it! marvelous answers, though.

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