not in our stars, but in ourselves
One wonders at the efficacy of getting mad. One thinks: “Does it really matter what all those rich people do to and for each other?” And, well, it does and it doesn’t. It doesn’t because, ultimately, all art and endeavor is meaningless, and we’ll all be dead someday, and so who fucking cares. However, the counterpoint: it does matter, because representation teaches those who see themselves onscreen that they and their stories are important and worth telling. The fucking Soviets understood this, but it’s a lesson Hollywood seems unwilling to take to heart. Fuckwits.
Anyway, the winners and my thoughts:
Best Picture: Spotlight – no. It’s not a bad movie. It’s fine. But it’s a TV movie. Better than average, as those go, but it’s about as cinematic as Sexting in Suburbia. However, voting for it does allow Academy members to feel that they’re taking a stand against a bad thing, so full marks there, you fucks.
Direction: The Revenant, Alejandro G. Iñárritu – ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Even if The Revenant had been good, I would not have been able to shake the dreadful sense that Iñárritu was rewarded simply to avoid further allegations of racism. “Give it to the Mexican. We need to seem #woke,” I can almost literally hear them say.
Actor: Leonardo DiCaprio, The Revenant – yeah, he’s due. Not for this movie, but hell – he might actually have gone and gotten into trouble with a bear if he hadn’t won this year, so good for him.
Actress: Brie Larson, Room – didn’t see the movie, although I’d like to.
Supporting Actor: Mark Rylance, Bridge of Spies – didn’t see the movie, don’t especially care to, but object very much to ignorant dickheads’ reactions of “who tf is that lol!” Do your fucking research, cunts. Otherwise, don’t comment on the awards. Jesus.
Supporting Actress: Alicia Vikander, The Danish Girl – let’s all just pretend she won for Ex Machina instead.
Adapted Screenplay: The Big Short, Charles Randolph and Adam McKay – well, you know, Step Brothers is one of the greatest films of the 21st century, soooooooo (but no, I haven’t seen this one)
Original Screenplay: Spotlight, Josh Singer and Tom McCarthy – it’s fine, okay.
Cinematography: The Revenant, Emmanuel Lubezki – yeah, he deserves it, all right, shut up.
Production Design: Mad Max: Fury Road, Colin Gibson and Lisa Thompson (set decoration) – I’ll take this opportunity to say that Mad Max deserved Best Picture, Best Director, and all of the more technical awards it swept up.
Film Editing: Mad Max: Fury Road, Margaret Sixel – obviously.
Visual Effects: Ex Machina, Andrew Whitehurst, Paul Norris, Mark Ardington and Sara Bennett – yeah, okay.
Costume Design: Mad Max: Fury Road, Jenny Beavan – yes, and incidentally, I think I need to start dressing a lot more like Furiosa.
Makeup: Mad Max: Fury Road, Lesley Vanderwalt, Elka Wardega and Damian Martin – Furiosa’s oil look was instantly iconic. Duh.
Sound Editing: Mad Max: Fury Road, Mark Mangini and David White – no kidding.
Sound Mixing: Mad Max: Fury Road, Chris Jenkins, Gregg Rudloff and Ben Osmo – no kidding!
Score: The Hateful Eight, Ennio Morricone – for my money, the best score was Mad Max‘s by Junkie XL, but yes, Morricone is a god. Well deserved.
Song: “Writing’s on the Wall,” from Spectre, Jimmy Napes and Sam Smith – absolutely not, are you kidding?
Foreign Language Film: Son of Saul (Hungary) – don’t know it, can’t vouch for it.
Animated Feature: Inside Out – [extremely Immortan Joe voice] MEDIOCRE!
Documentary Feature: Amy – didn’t see it.
Animated Short: “Bear Story” – didn’t see it.
Documentary Short: “A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness” – didn’t see it.
Live Action Short: “Stutterer” – take a wild guess: didn’t see it!
So there we go. What was life like before the Weinstein Company? One wonders.
P.S. Best dressed was, for my money, Saoirse Ronan. Fight me: